Utilitarianism... or Did you remember your Pain-o-meter?

Let's say that you are an doctor and you come upon six injured people.  Five of them are moderately hurt and one of them is extremely hurt.  You have enough supplies to help out both groups but you only have enough time to pick one group before the other group dies (sounds silly, but bear with me).  Which group do you pick first?

If you pick the extremely hurt person, congratulations, you know what the word triage means.

But if you pick the five other people, then congratulations, you just might be a utilitarian.

What's a utilitarian?  I'm so glad you asked.  Utilitarianism (besides being hard to type) consists of one and only one moral principle:  In ALL cases we ought to act so as to maximize total happiness.  It's the ends that matter most, not the means.

That's all there is to it.  A fairly simple statement and concept, but oh-boy does it have some serious problems in nailing down exactly what will 'maximize total happiness'.  Let's go back to the EMT and the six injured people.  By picking the five people you have increased the total happiness more than if you had picked the one person.  Thus, letting the extremely injured person die was the moral thing to do.  Strange, eh?  Cold?  Calculating?

Remember, in EVERY decision you make, to be moral you MUST pick whatever will maximize total happiness.  Can you imagine the problems with trying to figure this out?  How on earth are you to know whether one simple decision will maximize happiness or not?  Let's say that the five people you saved ended up becoming very bad people, spreading unhappiness wherever they went.  Thanks a lot, utilitarianism!  And if you had decided to choose the one person, that guy would have become a doctor and cured many people (at least six to make up for the five who died).  Way to go, utilitarianism!

This ethical theory is just too demanding for anybody to follow.  It's just impossible for anyone to have exhaustive foreknowledge of the future so they could know in advance what action will maximize happiness... unless, you have the knowledge of God (but of course this theory, like many others, is an attempt to get rid of God's rules).

Furthermore, how does one go about quantifying and measuring happiness?  I suppose you could keep one of these in your back pocket for any situation.

So if I come upon some people in pain I can ask the first guy, "Point to the face that shows how you feel... Oh, sorry.  You're arms are broken.  Okay, point to the face with your nose, then....  Ouch, you picked an eight.  Wow, that's pretty bad.  Now if I helped you how would you feel then? ... Ah, you'd feel a 2.  Okay, great.

I could then ask the next guy in pain, "So how are you feeling? ... You've got a splinter?  And can you point to the face that shows how you feel? ... Wow, that must be some splinter.  You picked a 10!"

First guy, "H-hey!  My arms are broken!  He's lying!"

"You already had your turn, sir.  Now I need to find out how much happiness I would bring if I helped this guy... I see, you would have no pain at all!  Great, let's get you to the hospital."

First guy, "But what about me?"

"Well, if I helped you, I would only maximize your happiness by a factor of six.  By helping this guy I maximize his happiness by a factor of ten.  Sorry!"


So using a pain-o-meter to make decisions is quite silly.  Or maybe it's just utilitarianism that's completely ridiculous.  With utilitarianism, theft can be justified if it maximizes total happiness.  Sending an innocent person to jail can be justified if it will maximize total happiness.  Harvesting poor people for their organs can be justified because it will end their unhappiness at being poor, maximize the happiness of those who need
organs, AND maximize the happiness of the United States of America by getting rid of poverty!

Umm... that's my liver you're damaging?

Most importantly, how does one define happiness?  If it is subjective in any way, shape, or form (be it subject to an individual, or a culture [a group of individuals]) when who is to say they're correct?  Maybe myself and a group of like-minded people have our own definition of happiness and it's diametrically opposed to yours?

 This group ensures maximum happiness.  Trust me.

In all seriousness, is there an objective standard of happiness?

Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end.

Give me understanding, and I will keep your law, and obey it with all my heart.

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.  (Psalm 119:33-35)

Yes, true happiness is found in God's Word.

Thanks for reading!